First reactions:

  1. “FIRST A YOUTUBE SHOW, NOW A MAG!” will be engraved on my tombstone
  2. Here, we printed out some of the Internet and gave it to you to put aside!
  3. Finally, something to idly flip through while waiting for your 20-minute YouTube video to load
  4. According to Kevin McCauley, senior PR manager for the Hellcat Lifestyle Brand®: “Every Hellcat review is just a series of strung-together bumper sticker slogans.”
  5. I’D RATHER BE ‘CATTIN’ THAN STROKIN’
  6. This literally looks like a copy of Raphael “Not Shredder” Orlove’s passion project, Motor Balls
  7. I wonder if there will be a special tie-in with Velocity Channel on these wonderful televisual programmes
  8. As one friend who will remain anonymous suggested, “Please God, let there be a section of flip-book-style ‘GIFs’”
  9. PREDICTIONS: every issue will be dipped in P’Blaster and sold in oversized tins of Skoal
  10. This.